The Fantasy Football Scoutcast (general)
Let Mark and Granville sniff out your clean sheets and assist your fantasy football season with a regular serving of stuff and nonsense from the English Premiership. News and analysis is mixed with lively banter between the two bitter mini-league rivals as the pair laugh off a life of mid-table mediocrity.

Far from a tribute to Chris Martin’s middle of the road act, this week’s ScoutCast reflects on the sea of yellow flags that have flooded our Fantasy Premier League squads over the past week. You’re nobody unless you’ve collected at least four by Saturday morning. 

 

The uncertainty caused by phantom international break injuries dominates proceedings as Granville and I mark a return to the studio. Whilst I start praying for Georgie Boyd to step up, my co-host begins his campaign to hypnotise me into getting rid of Branislav Ivanovic before he starts putting further daylight between our teams. I’m refusing to gaze into Granville’s eyes.

 

Elsewhere this week, we catch "Cup Fever" and resurrect the ScoutCast team. You could soon have the pleasure of knocking Granville and I out of our own cup competition. Providing we qualify of course – that’s far from a given.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP143_Yellow.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:34pm UTC

Not often acclaimed for his sage -like wisdom, Granville is enjoying his season in the sun and is firing advice, sympathy and jibes my way, in equal measure. With little to lose, I’ve even resorted to taking his guidance on board. After spending points on transfers on the Mancunian’s recommendation, I’m looking on my squad with optimistic eyes, although Granville is far from convinced that I made the “greatest hits”.

After raining on my revival parade, Granville joins me to talk Suarez, Oscar vs Hazard and Jim Bowen before we roll out the podcast regulars – “All Aboard”, the weekend preview and the usual dalliance with the ScoutCast team. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP117_Hits.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:40pm UTC

And so it goes on. With Granville bemoaning a “reasonable” 58-point Gameweek, I slip further into the mire as my team of differentials, mis-placed punts and failed opportunities continue on their relentless decline.

 

Slowly but surely the roles are being reversed in our weekly chat – as I recall my latest errant transfer and Granville struggles to curb his smugness: he even talks about himself in the third person.

 

As I desperately clutch at straws and roll out some positive thinking, my co-host halts his stream of advice to analyse the week’s rolling bandwagons and preview the weekend fixtures, whilst discussing the crunchy topics.

 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP114_plunge.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:18pm UTC

We return from the international break to find Granville totally smitten by Ravel Morrison. While that particular bro-mance takes me by surprise, the shock of my co-host agreeing with me twice on one ScoutCast is perhaps even more jarring. 

I guess Granville can afford to be generous. With a 41-point gap between us, the Mancunian may still be laid up by an untimely knee-op but he’s sitting comfortably when it comes to our Fantasy rivalry. 

In between sonnets dedicated West Ham’s troubled talent and jibes aimed at my struggling season, Granville joins me in rinsing through the current bandwagons, previewing the weekend and discussing topics such as Suarez’s lost bonus points. He also helps with the mispronunciation of Adnan Januzaj’s name on 72 occasions. We’re now praying he slips back into the reserves. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP113_Ravelations.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:23pm UTC

Back after a five-week break, Granville and I have squeezed in two holidays, two wildcards, an engagement (certainly not to each other), a dose of man flu and a near-on leg amputation. Packed, I tell thee. 

The other highlight has been the steady and consistent decline of my Fantasy season, giving my co-host Granville plenty of ammunition. Reclined in his armchair, leg braced like James Stewart, the stricken Mancunian leaves his Rear Window to investigate the murder of my fantasy team.

Once the taunting dies down, we manage to tackle the old regulars: bandwagons are assessed, the weekend is previewed and the ScoutCast team gets some love on its way to outscoring my lineup for a fifth week running. Oh the joy. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP112_Crutch.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:44pm UTC

There are no brown envelopes in sight, this “bung” is firmly placed in my nasal passages as I clamber from my man-flu grief pit to sit alongside Granville and take my Gameweek medicine. After seeing me off by 21 points, it’s only fair I gave my co-host his moment of glory, regardless of being short of match fitness.

Somehow we end up arguing about Robin van Persie once again, before taking a gander at the bandwagons rolling and preview the weekend’s action the only way we know how: by rambling and singling out some dubious player picks. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP111_Bung.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:06pm UTC

He’s well travelled. He’s multi-lingual. He’s just 19 points behind me. Despite my best start to a Fanatsy Football season in living memory, Granville is right on my tail. In this latest episode of the ScoutCast, Granville takes delight in taunting me by wrapping his tongue around every “Pochettino” with ease, leaving me to struggle like Paul Merson with a mouth ulcer. 

In between the mispronunciations, myself and the “cosmopolitan manc” get heated about Robin Van Persie, rinse through the Gameweek 1 bandwagons, preview the weekend’s action and welcome the flying start made by this season’s ScoutCast team. It’s breathless stuff, squeezed into a low fat 40 minutes. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP110_Cosmo.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:56pm UTC

Ryan Giggs, Tom Jones, Terry Griffiths, the guy in the Apprentice with the eyebrows. These are the legends that Wales has brought us in recent years but, come the weekend, we might just find that Fantasy football unearths another. Tonight’s final episode of the campaign is a very special one as Jonty crashes the party with a special guest – a Welshman that most of us have been looking up to all season.

We chat to the FPL title challenger in the “Full Jonty” after we discuss the perils of the final day fixtures, check in on a much improved Professor, question the transfer trading in “All Aboard” and preview Sunday’s season farewell.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP108_Rarebit.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:39pm UTC

This week’s ScoutCast episode reminds us that there really is life outside of Fantasy Football. 

Like the pursuit of the “most consecutive hours spent in one building” for instance, or perhaps the “most impressive eating feat”. Both are key events, alongside Fantasy Premier League ranking, in an annual set of “Bloke Olympics” revealed courtesy of this week’s rather different “Full Jonty”.  Our friend in the community brings with an extraordinary tale of a top Fantasy manager who runs his life like an achievement list – not to be missed.

Around that, we find time to pop in on an off-colour Professor, welcome Mr Moyes to Old Trafford and discuss the options presented by the Michu fallout. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP107_Olympian.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:48pm UTC

With the ScoutCast survey results still resonating, we make minor tweaks to the trusted formula and still manage to clock up our longest episode yet. To be honest, with a double Gameweek looming and “Balegate” to pick through, this one could have run and run, particularly once I’d got “Significant Touch” by Phil Collins trapped in my head.

 

There’s plenty of discussion, another cameo from the Professor and his suffering Fantasy fortunes, the weekend preview and another Full Jonty which, this week, focuses on one Fantasy managers mysterious message from the “other side”. An event that inspires Jonty to go on the hunt for superstitious Fantasy managers.


Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP106_Significant.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:20pm UTC