The Fantasy Football Scoutcast
Let Mark and Granville sniff out your clean sheets and assist your fantasy football season with a regular serving of stuff and nonsense from the English Premiership. News and analysis is mixed with lively banter between the two bitter mini-league rivals as the pair laugh off a life of mid-table mediocrity.

We return from the international break to find Granville totally smitten by Ravel Morrison. While that particular bro-mance takes me by surprise, the shock of my co-host agreeing with me twice on one ScoutCast is perhaps even more jarring. 

I guess Granville can afford to be generous. With a 41-point gap between us, the Mancunian may still be laid up by an untimely knee-op but he’s sitting comfortably when it comes to our Fantasy rivalry. 

In between sonnets dedicated West Ham’s troubled talent and jibes aimed at my struggling season, Granville joins me in rinsing through the current bandwagons, previewing the weekend and discussing topics such as Suarez’s lost bonus points. He also helps with the mispronunciation of Adnan Januzaj’s name on 72 occasions. We’re now praying he slips back into the reserves. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP113_Ravelations.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:23pm UTC

Back after a five-week break, Granville and I have squeezed in two holidays, two wildcards, an engagement (certainly not to each other), a dose of man flu and a near-on leg amputation. Packed, I tell thee. 

The other highlight has been the steady and consistent decline of my Fantasy season, giving my co-host Granville plenty of ammunition. Reclined in his armchair, leg braced like James Stewart, the stricken Mancunian leaves his Rear Window to investigate the murder of my fantasy team.

Once the taunting dies down, we manage to tackle the old regulars: bandwagons are assessed, the weekend is previewed and the ScoutCast team gets some love on its way to outscoring my lineup for a fifth week running. Oh the joy. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP112_Crutch.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:44pm UTC

There are no brown envelopes in sight, this “bung” is firmly placed in my nasal passages as I clamber from my man-flu grief pit to sit alongside Granville and take my Gameweek medicine. After seeing me off by 21 points, it’s only fair I gave my co-host his moment of glory, regardless of being short of match fitness.

Somehow we end up arguing about Robin van Persie once again, before taking a gander at the bandwagons rolling and preview the weekend’s action the only way we know how: by rambling and singling out some dubious player picks. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP111_Bung.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:06pm UTC

He’s well travelled. He’s multi-lingual. He’s just 19 points behind me. Despite my best start to a Fanatsy Football season in living memory, Granville is right on my tail. In this latest episode of the ScoutCast, Granville takes delight in taunting me by wrapping his tongue around every “Pochettino” with ease, leaving me to struggle like Paul Merson with a mouth ulcer. 

In between the mispronunciations, myself and the “cosmopolitan manc” get heated about Robin Van Persie, rinse through the Gameweek 1 bandwagons, preview the weekend’s action and welcome the flying start made by this season’s ScoutCast team. It’s breathless stuff, squeezed into a low fat 40 minutes. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP110_Cosmo.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:56pm UTC

No thrills. Few spills. Just two men in a room talking about Fantasy Football.

Granville and I handed Jonty and the “Professor” an extended pre-season and rolled the ScoutCast back to its rawest form. Just myself and the Mancunian sharing our thoughts after a summer break and looking forward to another Fantasy campaign.

We talk double Gameweek assets, I roll out the van Persie duvet, Granville reveals more than he should about his team lineup and, around all that, we assess the early bandwagons and preview the weekend fixtures.

Forty-five minutes of two blokes talking about the stuff that’s rattling around in most of our heads right now.

It’s good to be back.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP109_Two_Men.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 4:55pm UTC

Ryan Giggs, Tom Jones, Terry Griffiths, the guy in the Apprentice with the eyebrows. These are the legends that Wales has brought us in recent years but, come the weekend, we might just find that Fantasy football unearths another. Tonight’s final episode of the campaign is a very special one as Jonty crashes the party with a special guest – a Welshman that most of us have been looking up to all season.

We chat to the FPL title challenger in the “Full Jonty” after we discuss the perils of the final day fixtures, check in on a much improved Professor, question the transfer trading in “All Aboard” and preview Sunday’s season farewell.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP108_Rarebit.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:39pm UTC

This week’s ScoutCast episode reminds us that there really is life outside of Fantasy Football. 

Like the pursuit of the “most consecutive hours spent in one building” for instance, or perhaps the “most impressive eating feat”. Both are key events, alongside Fantasy Premier League ranking, in an annual set of “Bloke Olympics” revealed courtesy of this week’s rather different “Full Jonty”.  Our friend in the community brings with an extraordinary tale of a top Fantasy manager who runs his life like an achievement list – not to be missed.

Around that, we find time to pop in on an off-colour Professor, welcome Mr Moyes to Old Trafford and discuss the options presented by the Michu fallout. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP107_Olympian.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:48pm UTC

With the ScoutCast survey results still resonating, we make minor tweaks to the trusted formula and still manage to clock up our longest episode yet. To be honest, with a double Gameweek looming and “Balegate” to pick through, this one could have run and run, particularly once I’d got “Significant Touch” by Phil Collins trapped in my head.

 

There’s plenty of discussion, another cameo from the Professor and his suffering Fantasy fortunes, the weekend preview and another Full Jonty which, this week, focuses on one Fantasy managers mysterious message from the “other side”. An event that inspires Jonty to go on the hunt for superstitious Fantasy managers.


Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP106_Significant.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:20pm UTC

Peaks and troughs – every Fantasy season has them and, this week, we revel in the Professor’s major trough in a futile attempt to break the man. After Robin Van Persie issues the boffin a spanking, the Professor shows his mettle by taking it on the chin. Admirable stuff. 

While we’d have gladly devoted this entire episode to such gloating, we do manage to squeeze in the regulars, whilst Jonty turns up with more community gold: the tale of a globe trotting Fantasy manager who takes his advice off Frankfurt clubbers and QPR fans, whilst trying to figure out the Russian phrase for “please, wireless, I’m desperate – I have Djibril Cisse up front!”.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP105_Troughs.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:46pm UTC

Wednesday’s midweek matches push the ScoutCast back 24-hours, offering you a Crackerjack style Friday afternoon “treat”. Granville and I could certainly “crush a grape” after reaping the rewards from the Robin Van Persie captaincy and we can’t help allowing our smugness to seep through on several occasions, as we take the opportunity to mock both the Professor and Jonty on the recent failings of Wayne Rooney. Small victories.

Those two characters crash the party to bring us the latest forecast from the Rate My Team computer as part of our weekend preview, while Jonty brings us another “fortunate” member of the community to suffer the usual brand of “Full Jonty” analysis. The familiar smattering of regulars glue it all together, as we keep the momentum going with the finishing line now in sight.

 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP104_smug.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:30am UTC