The Fantasy Football Scoutcast
Let Mark and Granville sniff out your clean sheets and assist your fantasy football season with a regular serving of stuff and nonsense from the English Premiership. News and analysis is mixed with lively banter between the two bitter mini-league rivals as the pair laugh off a life of mid-table mediocrity.

Ryan Giggs, Tom Jones, Terry Griffiths, the guy in the Apprentice with the eyebrows. These are the legends that Wales has brought us in recent years but, come the weekend, we might just find that Fantasy football unearths another. Tonight’s final episode of the campaign is a very special one as Jonty crashes the party with a special guest – a Welshman that most of us have been looking up to all season.

We chat to the FPL title challenger in the “Full Jonty” after we discuss the perils of the final day fixtures, check in on a much improved Professor, question the transfer trading in “All Aboard” and preview Sunday’s season farewell.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP108_Rarebit.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:39pm UTC

This week’s ScoutCast episode reminds us that there really is life outside of Fantasy Football. 

Like the pursuit of the “most consecutive hours spent in one building” for instance, or perhaps the “most impressive eating feat”. Both are key events, alongside Fantasy Premier League ranking, in an annual set of “Bloke Olympics” revealed courtesy of this week’s rather different “Full Jonty”.  Our friend in the community brings with an extraordinary tale of a top Fantasy manager who runs his life like an achievement list – not to be missed.

Around that, we find time to pop in on an off-colour Professor, welcome Mr Moyes to Old Trafford and discuss the options presented by the Michu fallout. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP107_Olympian.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:48pm UTC

With the ScoutCast survey results still resonating, we make minor tweaks to the trusted formula and still manage to clock up our longest episode yet. To be honest, with a double Gameweek looming and “Balegate” to pick through, this one could have run and run, particularly once I’d got “Significant Touch” by Phil Collins trapped in my head.

 

There’s plenty of discussion, another cameo from the Professor and his suffering Fantasy fortunes, the weekend preview and another Full Jonty which, this week, focuses on one Fantasy managers mysterious message from the “other side”. An event that inspires Jonty to go on the hunt for superstitious Fantasy managers.


Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP106_Significant.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:20pm UTC

Peaks and troughs – every Fantasy season has them and, this week, we revel in the Professor’s major trough in a futile attempt to break the man. After Robin Van Persie issues the boffin a spanking, the Professor shows his mettle by taking it on the chin. Admirable stuff. 

While we’d have gladly devoted this entire episode to such gloating, we do manage to squeeze in the regulars, whilst Jonty turns up with more community gold: the tale of a globe trotting Fantasy manager who takes his advice off Frankfurt clubbers and QPR fans, whilst trying to figure out the Russian phrase for “please, wireless, I’m desperate – I have Djibril Cisse up front!”.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP105_Troughs.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:46pm UTC

Wednesday’s midweek matches push the ScoutCast back 24-hours, offering you a Crackerjack style Friday afternoon “treat”. Granville and I could certainly “crush a grape” after reaping the rewards from the Robin Van Persie captaincy and we can’t help allowing our smugness to seep through on several occasions, as we take the opportunity to mock both the Professor and Jonty on the recent failings of Wayne Rooney. Small victories.

Those two characters crash the party to bring us the latest forecast from the Rate My Team computer as part of our weekend preview, while Jonty brings us another “fortunate” member of the community to suffer the usual brand of “Full Jonty” analysis. The familiar smattering of regulars glue it all together, as we keep the momentum going with the finishing line now in sight.

 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP104_smug.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:30am UTC

The double Gameweek dominates episode 103 of the ScoutCast, providing a timely antidote a pitiful weekend of points scoring that saw even the great and good struggle. While your hosts hardly fit into that category, Granville and I dust ourselves down to rinse through the double Gameweek options, popping in on the Professor to get the “Rate My Team” viewpoint, before Jonty crashes the party to serve up another community themed conclusion.

 

This time around, Jonty brings a tale of armband woe: a Fantasy manager who misses the captain target with frustrating regularity. Whilst that manager’s luck should offer cheer, Jonty is also armed with a plethora of captain statistics that come courtesy of a former “Full Jonty” victim. Those particular revelations have me staring into the eyes of a certain Dutchman and wondering where it all went wrong.

 

 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP102_armband.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:49pm UTC

Sometimes, when in the presence of greatness, you can’t help feeling introspective. With Jonty rolling up with a very special “Full Jonty”, featuring none other than the current top ranked Fantasy Premier League manager, I cast my eye around my virtual dressing room with a feeling of disdain. What choice did I have but to gatecrash “Granny’s miffed”, reeling off my tale of woe as my once promising Fantasy season slips into oblivion. 

As for our Full Jonty candidate, his story is quite extraordinary. Managing from down under, using reports, highlights and stats to steer his team, this guy sleeps while we fidget and flinch at every clean sheet lost. Get your ears around this valuable insight into a top manager, whilst listening to some rather average ones reel off another round of ScoutCast regulars.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP102_First.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:46pm UTC

Wake up and smell the coffee. The ScoutCast returns to jolt us back into life and get us prepped for another Gameweek. After another dullard international break, we come back to life over 100 minutes, delivering the usual mix of chatter, banter, debate and community spirit.

 

Resigned to mini-league defeat, Granville enjoys pointing out how I’m oh so wrong on the price rise tax, James McClean and Maynor Figueroa’s Gameweek potential. Jonty crashes in having leaped above me in the contributors league for a quick Rooney-themed gloat, followed by another “Full Jonty”, which this week puts focus on a “no hits please, I’m cautious” Fantasy manager from the Scout community. All the regulars squeeze in amongst that lot to deliver a lengthy wake-up call. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP101_Sleepy.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:09pm UTC

One hundred up. Some achievement for two miserable so-and-so’s, confined in a room or hours on end, griping and gloating about Fantasy football.

 

I daren’t calculate the hours spent gazing into the beardy face of my Mancunian counterpart, or the minutes wasted while he moans about points on the bench. Equally, I doubt he’s recalling the hours he’s listened to me talk about Aleks Kolarov, Victor Moses or how my latest points hit will steer me to glory. Instead, we’ll look back fondly and remember the many, many good times.

 

Tonight’s special podcast includes a clip from the very first pilot show, Granville’s first, and some would say, last, attempt at ScoutCast humour. That’s followed by a flood of reminiscing, as Granville pinpoints some of his favourite episodes, while I see through my fixation with beating Last of the Summer Wine by checking out how they celebrated their own century of episodes, with depressingly predictable results.

 

Of course the regulars play their part, including the Professor and his Rate My Team computer and another stellar showing from the “Full Jonty”, this week featuring one of our very top managers in the community. Depressing stuff for a host just coming off the back of a red arrow.

 

Like Granville says, however, this is a time for celebrating. Here’s to the 100 and the next century to come. 

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP100_Century.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:12pm UTC

One man’s personal battle to mastermind his beloved Fantasy Football team through extreme adversity steals the show in this week’s episode of the ScoutCast – and we’re not talking about Granville struggling with his BAFTA award-winning hangover. 

Episode 99 has all the usual ingredients as we look back on Gamweek 28, rinse through the Gameweek 29 options, pop in to disturb the Professor and his Rate My Team computer, analyse the transfer ins and outs and, of course, give another community member the “Fully Jonty” treatment. 

Jonty delivers a heart-warming and rather humbling account this week, emphasising just how far the dedicated Fantasy manager will go to steer his ship. Postponing your bedbath to play your Wildcard? You better believe it.

Direct download: FFScoutCast_EP9_Convalescence.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13pm UTC