The title summons up imagery of Granville straddling me at the Potter's wheel, lovingly helping to craft a clay creation as we unite to sculpt out a Van Persie bust – in true Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello” style. 

That’s probably lost approximately half of our potential audience who are too young to recall the analogy. The other half are likely to be repelled by the image of Granville and I caught in a Swayze/Moore-like clinch.

If you’re part of the minority still sticking around, curious to hear how the above nonsense translates into a podcast, then listen up. You’ll catch the plenty of Wildcard ribbing, a tale of captain calamity exposed by this week’s community questions and the usual array of regulars. 

Granville and I have tackled some hard-hitting issues on the ScoutCast but it was perhaps inevitable that, on handing the opportunity for you, the community, to provide queries, things would ratchet up a few notches and have us chew over the subjects that matter most.

Listen in to this week’s episode and find out how the pair of us answered the first round of questions from you folks – including a humdinger that stretched our limited mental capabilities to breaking point.

Minds blown, we still managed to take on the ScoutCast regulars, rinsing through the bandwagons in all aboard, whilst previewing the forthcoming midweek Gameweek with both our Wildcard’s active. Elsewhere, Granville puts another phantom Lukaku assist under the grill, while I ponder the merits of achieving an unlikely differential using Sergio Aguero and the armband. No really, I’m 12% sure it’s going to work.

A new year, a new opportunity. While the frantic festive spell saw me fail miserably in my attempt to take a bite out of Granville’s mini-league lead, January does at least hand myself and other stragglers a chink of light. The Winter Wildcard could well be a false dawn, however. Having got my squad back on an even keel, the freedom to scrap it and start over is almost a scary prospect.

On the plus side, the situation certainly seems to have Granville spooked. My Mancunian rival is looking on his Wildcard with suspicion, leaving me hoping that, during his own January surgery, he makes one or two vital slips with the scalpel.

Around the Wildcard chatter, Granville and I deliberate over how to fill the Walcott-sized hole in our teams, whilst giving the regulars their usual airing. We even reveal plans on how you, yes you, the listener, can play a part in future ScoutCasts.